Game, Anyone?
It occurred to me today how completely in flux I am.
I found myself looking for grad school programs in my field. Wondering how I could pay for it. How I could afford to go back to school. If I would really sell my house and move my three children and I to another city so that I could go to school, knowing that when I was done, I may have to move them again so that I could work.
How serious am I? I have no idea. I'm rolling it around in my head. Divorce has thrown me completely off kilter. My whole focus since I was 20 years old was my children, my family. Now I must focus on me. First, the intense worry about money. Now, it is coupled with wanting to be challenged, happy and feel like I am thriving.
Mr. Boyfriend has not called, nor have I called him. I am disapointed in him. I note to myself, to you, that he has not called, but I am nothing like I used to be in my reaction. I'm rolling this relationship around in my head, too. I don't like how he behaved. I don't like it at all. I don't want that kind of behavior in my life. I'm really rather angry about it. I'm angry about the way he behaved and now the damned game playing.
I had a long conversation with my father this morning. Yes...I finally asked him to come and fix my kitchen sink. I also spoke with him about my brother, or he who has left wife and stepchild number three and settled in a city four hours away. My dad told the dumb head that he did not want to see or hear from him until he got his butt back to his wife and child and got his s**t together. My mother agrees. I feel very, very disapointed in my brother.
Perhaps that's part of the reason I am so disgusted with Mr. Boyfriend. I have a strong sense of right and wrong. He was wrong. Yet he is withdrawing and giving me the silent treatment. Where I come from, you own up to what you did and apologize.
You don't play stupid games. Man, I hate games.
I found myself looking for grad school programs in my field. Wondering how I could pay for it. How I could afford to go back to school. If I would really sell my house and move my three children and I to another city so that I could go to school, knowing that when I was done, I may have to move them again so that I could work.
How serious am I? I have no idea. I'm rolling it around in my head. Divorce has thrown me completely off kilter. My whole focus since I was 20 years old was my children, my family. Now I must focus on me. First, the intense worry about money. Now, it is coupled with wanting to be challenged, happy and feel like I am thriving.
Mr. Boyfriend has not called, nor have I called him. I am disapointed in him. I note to myself, to you, that he has not called, but I am nothing like I used to be in my reaction. I'm rolling this relationship around in my head, too. I don't like how he behaved. I don't like it at all. I don't want that kind of behavior in my life. I'm really rather angry about it. I'm angry about the way he behaved and now the damned game playing.
I had a long conversation with my father this morning. Yes...I finally asked him to come and fix my kitchen sink. I also spoke with him about my brother, or he who has left wife and stepchild number three and settled in a city four hours away. My dad told the dumb head that he did not want to see or hear from him until he got his butt back to his wife and child and got his s**t together. My mother agrees. I feel very, very disapointed in my brother.
Perhaps that's part of the reason I am so disgusted with Mr. Boyfriend. I have a strong sense of right and wrong. He was wrong. Yet he is withdrawing and giving me the silent treatment. Where I come from, you own up to what you did and apologize.
You don't play stupid games. Man, I hate games.
posted by New Day | 10:55 PM
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