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Location: Wisconsin, United States

"There is a secret set within each of our hearts...It is simply the desire for life as it was meant to be... Seasons may pass until it surfaces again. And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know when it returns that it is priceless. For if we could recover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions, and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existance." -John Eldredge, The Journey of Desire

Sunday, March 05, 2006

She's Pathetic Already

So, as I mentioned earlier...I'm going to hate going to bed and driving long distances. I'm heading to bed shortly. I'm dreading it. This sucks. I had begun looking forward to bedtime - my sleep had finally hit a point where it was normal.

Here I go, though...to crawl in bed and lay there wide awake. And then to see J (counselor) in the morning - so she can make me cry some more.

I can't wait to explain this one to her. I can hear it the distressed "Oh, no! Whyyyy?"

Well, the same reason every other major male figure in my life has gone away. I just wasn't enough, I guess. Maybe if I say it like that, real flip, she won't cry? You think? So you know, that's HUMOR - not me being mopey and pathetic. Ok, maybe slightly mopey and pathetic, but mostly bitter and cynical.

And THEN ...oh, oh! I have a new boss whom I hate. His name is Chris and I can't help but say it all snotty. I have only talked to him briefly, once, but I don't like him at all. He comes to meet me next week. Bluck. I want to quit this particular program but have to be able to fill that time with something else that makes money, obviously. If it's not one thing, it's something else, eh?

Ok. I'm going in. Bed. Kleenex's. Sleep. Oblivion. Another day (Pollyana, where are thou?)...

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