Who's Dumber?

I don’t know if I can post this one. It’s too stupid and embarrassing.

Mr. Boyfriend and I have been humming along – he’s turned a corner somehow – maybe he knew he had to or things would fizzle. Long story short, I’ve been introduced to his kids, our relationship has been acknowledged, we were moving forward.

Then last night he got stupid. This one I KNOW is him. We visited for a bit at his house – I’d had a particularly draining “Teenage Daughter” day and he was a wonderful balm for my soul. Went to dinner and had terrific conversation. Went dancing and it simply tanked from there.

Here’s where it gets embarrassing. He was mad because he said I was making too many faces on the dance floor. And I screamed when he did a particular fast and deep dip. He doesn’t want to dance with me unless I’m can go “full throttle”. By the time we left he said he was “never going back”, this had to do with his “boundaries” …

I, being my incredibly tactful self, said, “You are being REALLY DUMB.” I went on to explain that a man should not rip a woman’s’ dancing apart if he wanted her to be comfortable with him on the dance floor. He tells me that I simply need for something always to be wrong in order to be happy.

Back at his place and my car. He parks his in the garage, shows me to the door and tells me not to bother him for two weeks. I climb in my car…laughing. Oh, the drama!

Reason Fails Me

I can’t explain this one. I won’t excuse it. And I can’t HELP but LAUGH at it. I am so indignant. I am the first to admit that I do not know formal dance steps. I skipped all that garbage in Phy Ed in High School and Middle School. But I compensated by always being involved with things that were music related. Church Choir. Piano Lessons. Oboe lessons. Ushering at the symphony. Radio Club at school, being a DJ at the college radio station, DJ’ing sock hops in High School. And then later, directing the youth choir at church, playing hand bells, DJ’ing weddings for a summer, again DJ’ing at a local radio station, following the local band circuit. What does this have to do with anything? I am comfortable dancing. Even without ballroom experience. I’m not afraid to move. I don’t care how I look. I just want to have fun. Music tends to equal fun for me.

The X – he had one dance move which he learned in college nearly 20 years ago. He worried about how people looked at him. Previous to him, I JUST DIDN’T. Music and dancing meant FUN. It meant I could forget about myself for a while and just give in to being a manic fool. And now this dumb head thinks he can take that away because I didn’t behave the way he wanted me to?

I’m snickering. “Full Throttle”, indeed. That’s generally how I live life – I’ve recently given up trying to de-dramatize my responses to things, I’ve given up being serious all the time (Lately I’ve been so happy, felt so free, that I just want to SKIP anytime I’m outside). I’ve remembered whom I was before marriage – screwed up on some levels, but I responded to life by having fun. Especially when things were tough. Then, of course, it might have been dysfunctional fun. Now it’s not. I’m just not going to get all wrapped up in the garbage anymore. God is too good. Life is too short. There is too much fun to be had. Too much joy in all things. So my internal response is that he simply should not have gone where he’s gone.

I don’t know how he’s going to save this one. This ought to be good, watching him figure this one out. Because (and I’m laughing) I simply won’t play in the interim. Argue? No. Go straight to the apology.

So I’m embarrassed. Posting this is not easy because he treated me poorly but I still love the man. I know that I won’t walk away because he was a big creep. I wonder if the closeness spooked him to the point that he had to run off at the mouth and be a bull in a china shop.

The whole thing is just too damn stupid to be real.