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Location: Wisconsin, United States

"There is a secret set within each of our hearts...It is simply the desire for life as it was meant to be... Seasons may pass until it surfaces again. And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know when it returns that it is priceless. For if we could recover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions, and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existance." -John Eldredge, The Journey of Desire

Monday, March 06, 2006

Leveled

OK, I’m losing it.

Mr. Boyfriend and I were to do a radio program together. There is apparently a training this evening for the thing. He emailed me and asked me to let him do it alone. It was his idea. He’ll find someone else to do this with. He wants to have fun with it.

For some reason this leveled me. I’m like, getting ready to go to work and I’m sobbing. I have to stop and I can’t.

He hates me. Or doesn’t feel anything for me, rather. He says I cheated on him.  I didn’t. I know that’s nuts. I know I have to walk away BECAUSE that’s nuts and has very little to do with me.

But I trusted this guy. You all watched me give him my heart. How do I take it back? I want it back. I don’t want to go through this again.

1 Comments:

Blogger C. F. said...

Heya CB, tough day!!

I've had plenty of those myself so I can fully empathize.

I think what you're doing is great, though - writing it out.

I hope your week gets better. I'll save some good Super-Happy thoughts just for you!!

10:28 PM  

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