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Location: Wisconsin, United States

"There is a secret set within each of our hearts...It is simply the desire for life as it was meant to be... Seasons may pass until it surfaces again. And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know when it returns that it is priceless. For if we could recover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions, and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existance." -John Eldredge, The Journey of Desire

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

NOW WHAT?

I’m going to have to cram a whole lot of work in a short period of time today.

I was about to get in the shower and my phone rang. Guess who? Yep. Wanted closure. I say that flip-like because he just broke my heart again. He doesn’t know it. And I ain’t telling him. OK? OK.

Oh, you guessed it. He’s in love with me. Wanted me to know. You know, so I can…live with it? What?

Men.

Basically, he called to tell me that and some other things but to have none of it change anything but whether or not we are angry with each other. He’s going to look at his garbage, he says. Will he? I suppose I look at him with the same level of skepticism he had for me after the Valentines debacle.

And me? I offered to continue our relationship. I’m such an absolute dimwit.

IT RINGS AGAIN

HE JUST DID IT AGAIN! Called to tell me how he feels.

AND IN AN INSTANT SHE’S GONE

He tells me that he’s in love with me and I melt. Absolutely melt. Even my fingers are literally weak. My breath catches in my throat. I want to be crabby and grouchy because I do NOT want to be this vulnerable. He is giving me what I need. Now what????

Work, that’s what. Except I’ll be freaking floating. I am absolutely psychotic.

1 Comments:

Blogger C. F. said...

Tough times, CB. (and yes 'eh' is kinda like 'huh' :) )

You can trust me when I say that men are thrown into as much confusion and soul searching and tough times by relationships as women. Chances are he probably is sincere. The biggest question is - does he give you what you need?

7:32 PM  

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