Looking Forward and Back at the Same Time

I have been down dark alleys where I nearly lost my mind
     -from black and vile things creeping and reaching and grabbing
I have walked into forever, believing with my whole heart
     -things were pure and good
Finding instead, more blackness and emptiness
     -more evil, where love was supposed to be

God extracted me. I shut the door. I turned away.
I could not handle the blackness, the soul eating corruption
The lack of purity or sacredness for all things good
For God, for honor, for all things worth protecting.
I disassociated myself from these things because to continue
     In conjunction with these horrid things would require me
     To lose myself. To absolutely break completely.  
God took me out, said he had something better for me.

I am healing from those dark alleys, the soul destroying blackness
To argue that would be idiotic
It may take quite a while, the damage was extensive
But I will not be crippled by it, nor will I allow it to harm others continually
I will pull it out and look and heal.

This damage, does not preclude loving you.
I do not actually think there is much that could have
     Stopped that from happening.

I have known you for a long time, many years
Your horse is white, not black
You halo is pure, not dingy or dirty
Your heart is good and large and full of the things I crave and need

I want to walk beside you.
I want to give you the wonderful things you give me.
I want you to know with out a doubt that I love you.
I always have. It has simply grown and changed.
Please take what I have to give, know there is more coming and it is yours.