Step Six and Five and Four

I realized something today. Those that have read what I've written in previous posts know this isn't unusual. I realize things all the time. But wait...let me catch us all up on what has happened to me...

Last August I got married. I met the right one, I trusted myself enough to know it, and I married him. I have been busy adjusting to being married - I had finally adjusted to being single (as I understand it, that's how it goes). I've moved. My house is for sale. The kitchen sink is broken again. I am aware of it and made the choice to leave it be.

I am working a program. On step six. Step four was a dousy. Step five was cathartic. And now on to step six. Meanwhile I am sitting in a place not unlike where I was the last time I posted. I am breathing. I am accepting. I feel fairly peaceful.

Step four was around work. I realized while doing it, that I have done it before - with the counselor guru. This time, I did it around the thing I have wrestled with since I was small. Work. Whether it be school or a vocation. My ego. My self asteem. Who I was really trying to impress.

And I discovered it was still Dad. And so here I am again - having thought that I must start a new blog, leave the old behind and start over. I have discovered that we simply circle back. So the wackiness that is in these pages must exist somewhere - I lived them. They brought me here, to a place where I feel peace and happiness. And a sureness that says it's ok to dig deep.

So I did. And for a week I fought the neurosis of what I once was. Then I purged it with a sponsor and now I am rolling in the aftermath.

And I have discovered that I do not really like what I do. For a living.