The Kitchen Sink

My kitchen sink is broken. Not the sink itself, but the plumbing. There is no familial male to call to help me fix it. I ignored it for 24 hours hoping it would fix itself. I refused to use the kitchen other than to bake a pizza. This morning I looked again before I left for Church and it was still broken.

I went to Menards and looked around for some knowledgable employee to help me. I wanted glue for metal. If it was a girl problem, that's how I'd fix it. I'd glue it back together. I refuse to replace pipes. There was no sales person around. Instead I found a relatively competent looking male standing in the isle with all the pvc piping. I explained my problem. He told me what to do but also suggested I find an employee to ask. Aha! One available. Competent looking male was wrong.

I needed soldering adhesive. Good, because I gave my ex's soldering stuff back to him a few weeks ago. Not that I'd have any idea what to do with it, but it's just melting metal, right? How hard can it be? I buy my three dollar package of wonder glue and go home with instruction to keep it off my hands. Um, ok.

I sit in front of the sink, mix the goop, apply it and hold the parts together. I let go, and WALLA! It didn't hold. I decided I needed to just add more goop and hold it together longer. So that's what I did. It seemed to work...so I cleaned up my mess and walked away. I checked on it about a half an hour later and WALLA! It didn't hold.

I walked away from it again. Maybe something brilliant would occur to me later. A few minutes ago I was examining the problem again (which simply means I was standing in the kitchen looking at my sink, trying to think of someone I could call). I realized that only ONE side of the sink leaks. This is NOT the side attached to the garbage disposal or the dishwasher. HA! I can walk away again until something smart occurs to me. I simply won't use the other side. I stuck a stopper in the drain hole so that the kids don't mess with it and...walked away.

I remember after my spouse moved out and I mowed the lawn with the John Deere Tractor for the first time. He always made it seem like he was working really hard. I was to pay homage to him for his hard work. Yeah, right. Ice tea in hand, I can drive that thing around for an hour and "work" really hard, too. Generally, though, I drive it too fast on the side of a "hill" and nearly overturn it. This is fun. And when it wouldn't start I even knew enough to pry the cap off the batteries and see if there was water in the little holes. There wasn't. So I put water in them. Distilled water. I'm learning. But the kitchen sink has me stumped. I'm thinking that goop and then duck tape. And then my father A.S.A.P.